5 Myths About Couples Therapy
I often hear from my couples, “Had I known these sessions would be like this, we would have done this years ago!” Too often, people avoid going to Couples Therapy out of fear that is it going to go one of two ways: At best, just the same fights in a different place; At worst, it is going to actually make things worse. In reality, and in the hands of a specially trained professional, Couples Therapy is a transformative experience for the relationship.
Here are some of the myths that I’ve heard about Couples Therapy (and explanations clarifying what is true).
It is best to wait until we ‘need’ it
So many couples hold off on going to therapy because “It’s not that bad”. Running to therapy over every single argument is not necessary, but waiting for things to pile up for too long is not a good idea either! Sometimes people wait until they are on the brink of divorce to try to have these conversations. Couples Therapy can be very helpful when you start having the thoughts of “I wish things were different between us.”
Couples Therapy makes things worse
Data actually suggests that the “average person receiving couple therapy is better off at termination than 70%–80% of individuals not receiving treatment—an improvement rate that rivals or exceeds the most effective psychosocial and pharmacological interventions for individual mental health disorders” (Lebow & Snyder, 2022). The most important aspect of improvement is to be sure to give your therapist feedback about what is improving, what is not, and how you are progressing on your goals. Feedback improves therapy outcomes!
Couples Therapy is only for married couples
Couples Therapy is increasingly being utilized by people who are not married. This can include dating people who are wanting to improve their relationship, people who are not romantic partners but who are co-parenting children, or people who perhaps are discerning marriage but want a guide alongside them in the process.
My partner will never change, so Couples Therapy is useless
There is something wonderful that happens when you both have a space to listen to each other differently. The “same topic” discussed in Couples Therapy transforms to take on new meanings in the therapy room context, where you can hear what the other person is saying in a new light. When it comes to changing your relationship for the better, never say never.
Couples Therapy has to be done with both people present
The rise of Individual Couples Therapy provides a way to improve the relationship when one person is unable (or unwilling) to attend the sessions. Unlike regular individual therapy, Individual Couples Therapy still holds relationship improvement at the center of the conversations and helps the person who is present discern how they themselves can shift the relationship.
Don’t let myths of Couples Therapy keep you from getting the help you need for your relationship. And if you’ve tried Couples Therapy before with a negative outcome, consider working with a Strengths-Based Couples Therapist — where the hopes are the focus rather than the hurts! Click here to read more about the difference that the strengths-based lens can make.
If you (or someone you know) would benefit from Couples Therapy, give me a call. If I’m not a good fit, I’ll help you find someone who is!
Phone: 713-291-9553
I am only available to serve clients in Texas and Florida